Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a slam on Dr. Talbert; It is simply an effort to bring a little laughter into people's lives through his humor. I know the format of this site is a little boring right now...give me a couple days and I should have an improvement up and running.
All time favorite so far:
"Integers are our friends."
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New quotes (12/15):
"It's the bazaar-world version of the power rule."
"Your are no longer a slave to the ways of you calculator."
"Newton's rule is not a magic bullet for finding roots."
"No, that just makes it worse. But those of you who did that, thank you for trying. We'll have lovely parting gifts for you."
"Doing stuff that's wrong isn't' really bad, as long as you don't make a habit of it."
"...and it's negative, so it kinda jives with what we expect."
To Dr. Talbert: "Don't you get tired?" Answer: "Only when I'm awake."
"There's kind of a nasty thing going around that I enjoy teaching at 7:30 in the morning. Well, I do."
"It's the ever-evolving problem. Sorry about that."
(Talking about differentiation) "We all know this and love this by this point in time."
"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not telepathic."
"I'm not trying to imprint my brain onto you, but let's try it and see what happens."
"It's like I'm telepathic--I can find the tangent to this function anywhere and I've never even seen it."
"Rod and I are going to have a contest to see who can lecture louder...He'll win though."
"Let me say a few things that are totally untrue...and let me use a threatening color of chalk for this."
(Towards the back of the class) "Am I interrupting you guys at all...?!!"
"...why? Because I'm a genius? No. I am not a genius..."
"...so if you take the sum of two or three or a million things..."
Talking about concave up and down: "I want you to get some practice on this." He looks at his watch and sees that there's only 5 minutes of class time left. Then, smiling, "Eh...this is so easy you can do tons of practice in five minutes."
"...so if you can do this on your calculator, you can do cool things like make scatter plots of you grade and be a geek like that..."
"This is a huge good thing."
"Polynomials are your friends from now on."
"The derivative of e to the x is a wonderful thing...it's itself. That's pretty cool--it never goes away."
"You gotta be real sick of these...in order for it to be fun."
"ho de hi minus hi de ho over ho ho"
It's easy to come up with an equation: You have to use a little bit of horse sense and a little bit of vision."
A week before thanksgiving: "Yeah, I told you all before that we would be gone for thanksgiving this week...just shows you how totally oblivious I am to everything. Welcome to my world."
"Hopefully it will come out more or less the same...or we could just be like a good engineer and say, 'Oh well, it's experimental error; we'll just throw that one out.'"
"You have to zig when it zags."
"We can only guess, but we know we'll be somewhere in the ballpark...it's a good ballpark though."
"You can do all kinds of problems without your book...I recommend pencil and paper though."
"What is the only situation that l'Hospital's rule applies? nemmphm nmphs neimbhm...yeah, that's right. Make sure you get a good balanced diet of l'Hospitals rule and indeterminate forms."
"I'd like to squeeze it in, but it'd be too squozen."
Feeling bored sitting there in the computer lab? Need to spice up the scenery? Check out this site--they have awesome free images for you to download for your wallpaper, plus cool screen savers:
The old ones:
"Integers are our friends."
"And that one goes on for the rest of forever."
"...a quick hurry..."
"...so we have all those little baby rules; now for the grown-up rules."
"I could write x, or u,...or a smiley face..."
"I can't take the derivative of the whole enchilada, but I can take the derivative of little pieces of enchilada."
"That another one of those things that makes me twitch...maybe I just don't get out often enough."
"This if for those who are lost. If that's you, great. If not, you can minister to your friends."
"If you already got these reading questions off the web, congratulations! You now have one extra piece of paper. You can sell it..."
Writing a crazy-looking equation on the board: "And I want to know--" (Looks at the overhead projector) "--why this thing is in the way..."
"...and all that geometric nonsense..."
"...so you see we have some algebraic trickery going on..."
"Did that make any sense whatsoever?" No response. "Good. Did that make perfect sense?" Still absolutely no response (especially from Dave Schwartz, who is sound asleep). "I guess we've gotta start small..." Then, singing: "lo de hi minus hi de ho..."
"It makes sense...um...it makes sense in the normal way that things make sense."
Pointing to the board where there is written, "COT." "What is this?...yeah that's something you sleep on..."
Thanks for reading!
This page is updated by David Thomas
Last updated 11/10/98